Imagine living your life as if you were Teflon-coated.

The things that used to upset you - make you angry, frustrated, or irritable - just don’t seem to stick anymore.

And the judgmental, critical people in your life?

They’re still the same.

But you’re not reacting the same.

Doesn’t that sound kind of amazing?

I think most of us would say yes. That’s exactly how I want to be.

Calmer. Softer. Less reactive. More at peace.

But then we start to worry… Wait, what will other people think?

What if the people around me don’t like that I’ve changed?

What if they feel uncomfortable?

What if they see me as different - or worse, think I’m trying to be better than them?

That fear is real.

Anytime we grow or shift - even in healthy, freeing ways - it can feel like we’re moving away from people we care about. And that’s hard.

Sometimes we’re afraid they’ll judge us for changing.

Sometimes we’re afraid they’ll feel left behind.

And sometimes, we just don’t want to feel different.

But here’s something to remember:

When we understand that fear is the engine behind so much of our reactivity - our anger, our blame, our criticism - we start to see that we have more choice than we thought.

We can still get upset if we want to.

We can still rant or complain or roll our eyes with a friend.

But we don’t have to.

We’re not trapped in our reactions anymore. We’re not stuck being ruled by fear.

And when we remember that everyone else’s reactions come from fear too, we can meet them with a little more understanding - without pretending, without faking, and without giving up who we are becoming.

We get to choose how we want to respond.